Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize