i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize