He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
her facebook's as public as her vagina
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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