I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize