Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Randomize