i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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