people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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