and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
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Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
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Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Then you guys just all showered together...?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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