wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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