and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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