Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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