There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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