when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
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he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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