Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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