Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
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id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
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I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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