Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize