Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?

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(248): I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you? http://tfl.nu/mhei

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(970): View more from Colorado

Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.

(970): View more from Colorado

Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.

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(970): Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin. (970): Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right. http://tfl.nu/uxeh

Replies (18) Good night (934) Bad night (1521)
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(630): View more from Illinois

but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.

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(630): but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up. http://tfl.nu/psea

Replies (29) Good night (558) Bad night (913) Order T-Shirt
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(956): View more from Texas

I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward

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(956): I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward http://tfl.nu/ltxx

Replies (187) Good night (5345) Bad night (1212) Order T-Shirt
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(425): View more from Washington

Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.

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(425): Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts. http://tfl.nu/1fhj

Replies (112) Good night (1357) Bad night (4318) Order T-Shirt
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(303): View more from Colorado

i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell

(720): View more from Colorado

That's the classiest thing you've ever said.

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(303): i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell (720): That's the classiest thing you've ever said. http://tfl.nu/sstw

Replies (44) Good night (5968) Bad night (1833)
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(805): View more from California

I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.

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(805): I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more. http://tfl.nu/p4p6

Replies (5) Good night (3298) Bad night (934) Order T-Shirt
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(337): View more from Louisiana

I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.

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(337): I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven. http://tfl.nu/stao

Replies (4) Good night (3792) Bad night (803) Order T-Shirt
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(920): View more from Wisconsin

just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny

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(920): just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny http://tfl.nu/f2gi

Replies (39) Good night (2063) Bad night (7181) Order T-Shirt
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(518): View more from New York

I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.

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(518): I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave. http://tfl.nu/ne75

Replies (2) Good night (539) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
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(913): View more from Kansas

Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this

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(913): Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this http://tfl.nu/urxm

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(480): View more from Arizona

Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.

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(480): Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous. http://tfl.nu/druq

Replies (3) Good night (1264) Bad night (421) Order T-Shirt
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(301): View more from Maryland

The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...

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(301): The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ... http://tfl.nu/xsvz

Replies (16) Good night (461) Bad night (1966) Order T-Shirt
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(508): View more from Massachusetts

If I was 5 years younger and single...

(413): View more from Massachusetts

She STILL wouldn't fuck you.

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(508): If I was 5 years younger and single... (413): She STILL wouldn't fuck you. http://tfl.nu/p2kv

Replies (4) Good night (1130) Bad night (606)
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(240): View more from Maryland

If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters

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(240): If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters http://tfl.nu/bqf1

Replies (7) Good night (978) Bad night (290) Order T-Shirt

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