Texts From Last Night

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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?

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  (505): so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew? http://tfl.nu/930a
  Replies (27) Good night (1289) Bad night (444) Order T-Shirt
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.

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  (216): you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently. http://tfl.nu/85of
  Replies (7) Good night (3509) Bad night (443) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come

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  (313): im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come http://tfl.nu/9b59
  Replies (30) Good night (3981) Bad night (596) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.

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  (714): I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest. http://tfl.nu/jip9
  Replies (28) Good night (1456) Bad night (5872) Order T-Shirt
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  (626): View more from California

  All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.

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  (626): All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me. http://tfl.nu/0mc8
  Replies (19) Good night (4371) Bad night (993)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.

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  (920): Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit. http://tfl.nu/du3n
  Replies (1) Good night (960) Bad night (2067) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.

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  (412): It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult. http://tfl.nu/japr
  Replies (9) Good night (1923) Bad night (779) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Does that work!! Please say yes

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  (702): Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons (702): Does that work!! Please say yes http://tfl.nu/ujrg
  Replies (24) Good night (654) Bad night (1968)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!

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  (443): You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously! http://tfl.nu/q8vz
  Replies (9) Good night (1619) Bad night (579) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.

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  (202): I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery. (202): That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics. http://tfl.nu/1mv0
  Replies (28) Good night (2816) Bad night (911)
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  (858): View more from California

  This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.

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  (858): This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars. http://tfl.nu/bno3
  Replies (9) Good night (1637) Bad night (436) Order T-Shirt
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  (903): View more from Texas

  We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.

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  (903): We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort. http://tfl.nu/9819
  Replies (1) Good night (1045) Bad night (291) Order T-Shirt
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  (432): View more from Texas

  dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"

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  (432): dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds" http://tfl.nu/wwid
  Replies (14) Good night (648) Bad night (1643)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.

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  (814): his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun. http://tfl.nu/so1p
  Replies (2) Good night (314) Bad night (666) Order T-Shirt
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.

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  (989): She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it. http://tfl.nu/vpoa
  Replies (1) Good night (787) Bad night (179) Order T-Shirt

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