I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize