Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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