I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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