There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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