I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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