it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
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Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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