I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize