They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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