My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize