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Midget sex pt 2 tonight
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
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