You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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