i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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