Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize