A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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