That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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