dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
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He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
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What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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