I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
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I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
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I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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