it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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