there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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