Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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