just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
What a dumb baby whore.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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