You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
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update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
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i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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