And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize