too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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