Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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