I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
now i know why i became what i already was.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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