is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize