We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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