good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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