You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
If I had your ass I would rule the world
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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