there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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