its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
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Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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